Your heart is exploding, dumb ass

Greetings, Friends.

I’m typing on my phone from my bed in the ICU at a hospital in Lexington, Kentucky.

Not being much of a phone typer, I will fill y’all in once I’m discharged, either Tuesday or Wednesday. I missed posting last week because I thought I was too pooped out on account of election coverage, but it was my body going into crisis that was making me plumb tuckered out, and then my heart went kaplouie.

My cardiologist is very good looking. He came into my room yesterday and said in his French accent, “Hello, I am your hot doctor.”

Yes, you are, I thought, but was puzzled, and possibly charmed, by his forwardness. Then I realized what he’d actually said was, “heart doctor.”

I’ve been treated exceptionally well, and friends keep dropping by with my favorite snacks. So, it could be worse. It really could have been worse because I almost didn’t go to the ER thinking, “Who needs the insurance hassle?” But thankfully, I had the thought that not going would make me a dumb ass. In fact, Hot Doctor told me I was this close to bad things happening, but now I will live long enough to at least tackle some of the debt I’ll face when I’m finally discharged.

Then my life long specialty care will begin. All because my thyroid self destructed and my organ systems began to shut down, starting with my poor swollen heart.

The nurses are divided over whether they like having me in the crit care ICU because unlike all the others on this floor, I am not in a coma, not on a ventilator, and can sit up to eat. Mostly, I can talk and ask questions and that is really unusual up here. Two people coded this morning so all the nurses were busy. I had a long wait getting over to my commode thingy to pee. I’m considered a fall risk so I’m not supposed to get out of bed. Well, it could have been worse, which is why I took myself over to the special chair, and then had to untangle all the wires and tubes hanging off my limbs, like I’m a Christmas tree.

Have a good holiday. If someone tells you you’re getting too skinny, and you wonder why at nearly 60 years old, you suddenly have asthma, get yourself to the ER now. That’s my tip after the week I’ve had.

But mostly, just be well.

Whitney